Bean left while I was doing the morning rounds. I know I had to be practical and go and see to everyone else, but I wanted to be there wi him as he left. Maybe he wanted to be on his own, maybe no, but that's the way it happened so it can only be what it is now, and love doesnae stop just because you leave the room.

If it was gaunnie happen, I'm glad it happened so quickly, but the big man didnae have the death I wished for him; it wasnae peaceful and it wasnae painless, but even wi the best will and attempts in the world sometimes life's brutality swings a hook from the left field and lands on target, and so it will always be. He was warm nestled in a bale of straw aw round and over him, and when I left Rio his wee mental cockerel pal was wi him, standing on top of him.

Time now tae reflect on his life, if he was happy and content; I wished for more time wi him and for a pal for him, but he was very big, very horned, and very... goat. He was a magnificent, grumpy, heid-strong, danger-tae-himself-and-others, handsome, aloof, but-still-sometimes-loved-a-wee-scratch-behind-the-lug-fae-his-wummin bloody liability of a goat and we're aw gaunnie have tae work out a new way tae live without the magnificent Major Douche watching us from the top of his hill like the king of the world.

It's the end of our time together, it was always gaunnie come, and would always be too soon. But that feeling of the sun on yer face at the top of yer hill, though... that's what makes it aw worth the crazy ride.